Take those shoes out of your refrigerator!

Hi everyone,

Those shoes in the title above are defensive reactions. We all have them, and they all come from the part of our jobs as learners and teachers where we park our egos. for instance I was talking to a teacher and she was telling me about the power struggle she had with a student - oops there go those shoes jumping into refrigerators again!

Where did I come up with this phrase? It was given to me by my good friend and fellow facilitator in our Reinventing Life Retreats (see www.reinventinglife.org). John is a chiropractor and I was in his office for an adjustment and just fuming about an online student who was really rude in our interactions. He told me to "take my shoes out of my refrigerator! They had no business being there!" His point was that too much emotion was being tied up in my heart (and in my body) and it was inappropriate - I should let it go.

I have come to realize that only ego makes me defensive - because only my ego thinks that I have anything I need to defend. The rest of me cruises along knowing that I am doing the best that I can and offering the world the most that I know how to offer. Of course that is enough. If any one student doesn't understand why I work the way I do - then maybe their spirit is telling them I am not the person they should work with - and all of my caring can't change that.

I have students who care way too much about the grade that they get. They are not usually my best students. They may be my most technically proficient - but doctoral work is not about technical proficiency it is about guts and skill and confidence. You don't get any of those things when you worry about every small comment anyone makes to you. You develop those characteristics when you develop a sense of the larger picture.

Step one - take those shoes out of your refrigerator. If you find yourself defensive, take a deep breath and give yourself a moment of love - after all we all get there, and we all get out of it too. If those shoes just won't stay out of that refrigerator then move on to another relationship as soon as you can - life is too short.

In the meantime, don't work so hard you forget to feel the breeze on your face or to enjoy the lovely spring weather when it come your way.

All the best,
Alana